Isn’t it so easy to get caught in the trap of constant self-pity? I’ve found myself there lately, as was likely evident from my last two entries beginning with “how difficult things had been for me the last few days”. I fall into these traps all too frequently. I was reminded this week at church about the importance of prayer, and a solid guideline to use when praying. The very first step is PRAISE. Our pastor used The Lord’s Prayer as a baseline for us. If you aren’t familiar with it, it begins with, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”. Hallowed is another way of saying awesome, sacred, or holy. What better way to start a prayer than by praising the Creator of life?!
I say this because in addition to praising the Lord for how amazing He is, we should take the beginning of our prayer time as a time to praise Him for all that He’s done for us. I can’t think of a better method to pulling yourself out of a slump of melancholy than to think about your many blessings. I’m thankful for my husband, my two precious, healthy children, our families, IOMAX and all the people that make it the company that it is, our home, our jobs, our church, our friends, my faith, ETHAN…. the list is endless. Our God is good. We could be in the path of Hurricane Harvey and likely lose every tangible item we own. We could be barely able to make ends meet or worry about whether or not we’re able to feed our children. But even those people, God has not forgotten, and I firmly believe will be blessed.
When I begin to think about my “circumstances” and how I don’t understand why it has to be me, I have to constantly remind myself that I am BLESSED. My dad is one of the greatest blessings of my life, and he has left behind a lifetime of memories to remember him with. They hurt to think about, but I know eventually they will be not only be beautiful, but healing as well. Ethan has been a blessing since his conception. He has value and worth in our family. I can’t imagine life without him. So during the times that I being to wonder, “why me?” I have to think about what my life would have been like without these circumstances. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to be blessed with these people, even if I have to lose them.
I hope you know by now, I firmly believe NO ONE is perfect, least of all me. In the spirit of honesty, please understand that I’m not saying that I’m not still sad, even when remembering all I’ve been blessed with. But it reminds me not to wallow in self-pity, to be grateful even in my heartbreak. It keeps me mindful that I’m not the only one suffering in the world, and that there are others who endure far more than I could ever imagine. This might sound contradictory to me saying that I don’t compare anyone’s heartache because they are all different. But let’s be honest, religious persecution and terrorists killing innocent men, women, and children is something we really can’t fathom experiencing. I remain constantly aware that there are experiences that some of you have lived through that have left you with deep wounds in your soul. My heart breaks for your, and I pray that in time you find peace, healing and blessings from your pain. All this said… I’m babbling. Ultimately, throughout my grief, I thank God for my many, many blessings- and the ones that I believe He will continue to make known.